Bright Belles

           Last week my sweet Daddy was in the hospital as I mentioned in my previous post.  One evening my son Josh and I were heading back to the hospital for a visit.  Josh was chauffeuring his mama as he usually does when we do something together.  Not quite “driving Miss Daisy” though, as I don’t sit in the back seat!  We were in the more “historical” part of town which is an area that Josh doesn’t normally transverse too often.  I was trying to explain to him how the streets run through our city.  Every one of the main streets are pretty much parallel to each other and if you follow side streets from one place to the next, you can complete a full circle by following them from block to block until you get back to the original main thoroughfare you started on.  As I shared my expertise into the secret mind of our traffic engineers with my son, I thought about a trip I had taken with Daddy many years ago. 

            Mama was our church’s choir director.  Our little southern hodgepodge choir had been asked to sing at a convention in New Orleans.  Mama being the devoted leader she is, decided that she wanted to ride the bus with the choir members rather than ride in the car with Daddy.  That in itself was a shocker as she is about the most nervous passenger I know!  She has worn out the floorboard of many a car, slamming on brakes on the passenger’s side.  Well anyway, I had ridden the bus on the way over, but had had my fill of sweaty seats, loud conversations, and a bumpy ride that would jar your permanent teeth loose!  So I opted to ride back with Daddy and my cousin Cathy.  It would be fine since we could navigate for him.  Daddy was following the bus through New Orleans but somehow we lost them in traffic.  No problem – we could follow the map and highway signs to get through.  That was all mighty fine in theory, but Daddy had forgotten he was in the car with two southern “Rich family” cousins who had inherited the gift of gab.  After the third time around the Super Dome, Daddy knew we were in trouble!  Finally, he got a word in edgewise and we were able to navigate out of there.     

            Now I consider both myself and my cousin fairly educated and capable southern belles.  We both had a similar upbringing, so for us to allow my poor daddy to play a brutal game of “ring around the rosies” with the Super Dome was shameful!  It wasn’t that we weren’t smart enough to help navigate; it’s just that we weren’t paying attention.  We should’ve been his “beacon” in the dark guiding us home, but instead we were more lost than ever.    To be going round and round in circles was inexcusable!  Belles, this can be just as true when it comes to matters in your life.  Lord knows I’ve found myself not only going round and round but coming “full circle” in ways that I never expected and looking back, could’ve avoided.   Let’s look at our trip to New Orleans for a “road map” so to speak.  We were spitting out directions and “saying” we knew the way, we knew how to read the map and we could help navigate.  The problem is, we got so caught up in girl chatter, that we didn’t actually read the map or the highway signs.  We left it to Daddy – a man who had never traveled this road before and was trying his dead level best to concentrate in the middle of all the noise.  No wonder we got lost! 

            You see, “words” seem like a belle’s best friend, but they can often be her worst enemy.  I don’t know about the rest of the world, but down South there are some smooth talking rascals.  Remember “Gone With The Wind?”  My oh my that Rhett Butler could charm the socks of a gal couldn’t he?  And he did time and time again.  I was re-reading some of the script today where during the war Scarlett talked Rhett into taking her back to her home in Tara.  Midway there, Rhett simply decides to abandon her on the trip and leaves to enlist in the war.  She has to make her way back home with her clan and without his help.  I suppose by now you are wondering where in the world I am heading with this dialogue.  Well my belles, it is simply this.  When your beau loves you, you will know it.  Not because of what he says so much, but what he does.  Y’all know I am not one to reveal all my secrets, but just between us belles, I have been such a sap in the past when a man’s words dripped like honey off his lips.  Maybe it is because my “love language” is just that – language or words.  But dahhlins’ there is a lot to be said about “unspoken words” too.  Y’all know that song that says “you say it best when you say nothing at all” don’t you?  That is the truth sometimes.  If your honey goes the extra mile to make your life better, or does something random just to make you happy, chances are he’s a keeper.  Oh we all know this don’t we belles?  But then the words come and we go weak in the knees again.  Words really are powerful and persuasive.  I’ve heard a phrase that has been used a good bit when it comes to the behavior of parents.  It says “I can’t hear what you are saying because your actions are too loud.”  Well my belles, that is true when it comes to the men folk, to your girlfriends, to your boss, your neighbor or most anyone.  My best belle Laura made a comment the other day.  She said “why is it that we girls don’t believe that ‘love’ is a verb – an action word?”   Why the good book itself teaches that.  For the record, this is good advice for all you beaus out there too! 

            Another thing about words is this.  If you talk more than you listen, then you are less likely to observe the actions behind words.  Hush your mouths every once in a while and you’d be surprised what you can learn!  That little bitty piece of advice was just a bonus on our topic today.  So my bright belles, believe in your own intuition and what that whisper inside is telling you.  Also, don't let smooth talking words, flip the switch off on your brain.  common sense and intuition go a long way ladies!  You have a light that will shine on situations and lead the way.  Don’t just listen with your ears, but your heart and open your eyes as that light shines in your situations.  If you will, you’ll never be stuck on a round trip to no where, but will find your way home!

Love y’all,

Starla