It
happened again! I had made my rounds
through the healthy section of Winn Dixie and I had the goods to prove it. My buggy was partially filled with a non-GMO’rs
dream – blueberries, asparagus, spinach, mushrooms, celery, bananas, cashews
and sesame sticks. I left the produce
aisle and headed for the bakery aisle. I
declare I think they place the produce first next to the bakery aisle just to
make you crave those horribly delectable pastries and breads. I came to the display of caked donuts. Dang you Winn Dixie – how I love cake donuts
in the morning with my cup of coffee!
Well there I was, checking the expiration dates on the carton of donuts
in my hand when it happened! I looked up
to see the distinguished older gentleman sporting his overcoat and fedora. What were the odds that I would see him again? I mean this was not a big shopping day –
Tuesday at 6:00 p.m.? Yet there he was
spying on me as my greedy hand delicately held that carton of donuts! How is it that he could catch me red-handed
twice at the pastry table?
It
had been about three weeks before, when we first met. My buggy was filled with healthy items that day
too, when he spoke. “You must want to live forever darlin’” he said. “Well
that depends on how well I feel when I’m 100.” I replied. “Well
from the looks of things and your beautiful figure, I think you will live for a
long time” he responded, completely ignoring the fact that I was eyeballing
the tempting display of pastries before me.
“I’m not so sure about that since
here I am battling my weakness for pastries.” He chuckled, but not the laugh of a typical
southern gent. No, he was from somewhere
far away – a northerner or perhaps a European from the sound of his accent. “Well
sometimes it’s okay to look as long as we realize partaking of certain things
is not good for us.” Somehow I had
this creepy feeling we were no longer talking about cake donuts.
So
here I was again three weeks later with a carton of delectable cake donuts in
my hand and my “image consultant” peering at me once again. As I read the expiration date on the first
carton I picked up, I was in a tizzy when I looked up to see him spying on me
once more. Those donuts could’ve been
expired for a week but this southern belle was not about to spend another New
York minute comparing labels while that strange man in the fedora faced me with
a smile that all belles understand. I
quickly tossed the carton in my buggy alongside the fruits and veges. It looked like a beat up Chevy truck parked
in the parking lot at the country club, but nothing would keep me from buying those
donuts today – not even the lustful eyes peering at me from under that
fedora!
I
made my way through the store and put that feeling of being a bit violated
aside. You know that feeling; like when
someone steps up on your porch to deliver a package and then engages in small
talk and dares to sit in your porch swing without being invited. Lawd have mercy! Some folks have the manners of a bull – just rushing
through every open gate just because they can! Southern charm does not give you a license to impose.
Now if I had thought this old gent had truly had my health at heart, I
certainly would’ve appreciated his timely presence at the pastry table. Truth is though, his interest in my health
went only so far as the shapely petite figure and cheerleader’s backside that
the good Lord has blessed me with! I
doubt he would’ve notice my buggy full of vegetables or anything else if I had
been built like a linebacker. Well I
suppose I could jump on some feminist soapbox about men looking at women in
grocery stores, but the fact is we all look – belles, beaus… all of us. It’s just the way the good Lord made us I
reckon. We all want to feel beautiful or
handsome don’t we y’all? So I guess I
might as well be grateful to the admiring old man in the fedora. Today I only had one donut with my
coffee!!! Thanks my “image angel.”
